What is S.A.M.????

The problem arises when the domme is serious about being obeyed and her sub is not.
He might be a brat or S.A.M. -- a "smart assed masochist." S.A.M.s are not truly submissive but they pretend to be because they think that's "how the game is played". The S.A.M. will find a domme, "submit" to her for a while, and then disobey and disrespect her in order to get punished. That's fine as long as that game is acceptable to you both and you're not concerned how your relationship appears to others in the scene.

Personally I prefer the direct approach. If someone wants me to flog them into subspace, they should just ask. I call that play. I find S.A.M. behavior disrespectful. But if you're a sadist and enjoy playing the firm disciplinarian, you might want a S.A.M.

BTW, bratty behavior is often unacceptable in the BDSM scene but in the spanking scene -- where it's always about play and never about D/s -- bratty activity is quite common and indulged. Don't get offended if someone "brats" you at a spanking party. He's just being playful.